choose wisely!
I am sure that most of us have been given the unsolicited advice of “choose wisely” by a mother, grandmother, aunt, older sister, or friend. The only problem with this “sound advice” is that it fails to answer the question of “how?” How do we choose wisely in dating and marriage? The Bible gives no explicit advice on dating because dating wasn’t around during Jesus’s life. However, I believe that the Bible does give examples of what Godly men should be (Titus 1:6-9). It also describes the kind of woman we should seek to be (Proverbs 31:10-31). All of these truths are important in becoming the woman you want to be and choosing a man who loves the Lord and can partner with you in life. However, I believe that God speaks to us through the Holy Spirit on matters we are unsure of (1 Corinthians 2:10-13).
In choosing the right man, it is not about nit-picking the poor guy. There is a difference in having a Godly standard and an unattainable one. This may come as a major surprise to most of you but… guys are just as flawed as us. There are no magical men who are perfect and do and say everything right. I used to date one of those guys who seemed to be perfect, and it was far from true.
There is grace in dating. Just like we have flaws and issues, so do they. I urge you to give guys a chance and give them grace in areas of their lives that you know nothing about because, well frankly, you have never dated them before. Allow the Lord to guide and lead you in the dating world. Sometimes the first date is a yes, but the Lord closes the door to the second. That is ok! There are things we all need to learn, and it is ok if that is learned through one date or many dates with someone. Allow God to teach and guide you through all different ways.
An important aspect to choosing wisely is prayer. Do a lot of that. God speaks through His Word but also through prayer. God is not trying to trick you or play games with your heart. He genuinely only wants what is best for you (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust that He is a good Father, and that He will lead you in the way you should go (Psalm 32:8). I promise you; He is not going to leave you hanging. He will give you an answer either way, just trust Him.
Godly men are real. They are all around us. We must allow God to soften our hearts and give us eyes to see the right ones. Do not let small, petty preferences and personal convictions cause you to discount an incredible guy because he does not match the “perfect guy” you’ve dreamed up in your head. Guys are human. And ladies, I think it’s time to adjust to this reality. We all have our flaws. Do not waver on your beliefs.
Say no to guys who do not share your heart for God, but stop saying no to guys who disagree on what to watch on a Saturday night.
Above all else, seek God (Matthew 6:33). Give it all to Him. He knows best! My only request is that you let go of this made-up-perfect-never-does-anything-wrong guy in your head and allow God to bring you a guy who is real and has flaws but truly loves Him. You won’t be sorry :)
