the thief of joy
One day me and my roommate Macy were driving , and as we were jamming out in the car, we started to discuss contentment and comparison. During the conversation, I looked at her and said, “To be honest, I’ve been jealous of you in the past.” She was stunned and confused. I was equally confused when she told me the same thing. We had both seen the other do certain things well with an air of naturality that seemed effortless. Both of us had longed to be more like the other, which can be constructive if the mindset is correct. However, if this mindset becomes negative and stems from jealousy and comparison, it can create a bitter heart that feels it is never enough.
There is a fine line between comparison and inspiration. The Bible discusses this topic pretty early on in Exodus 20:17, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or …” I think you get the picture. It was one of the ten commandments given to Moses on Mount Sinai. So I would say comparison and jealousy are a big deal to God. They seem to stem from discontentment which is a heart issue. Finding identity within God is crucial to understanding that you are a unique masterpiece that cannot be compared to another (Ephesians 2:10 & Psalm 139:13-14).
As Macy and I kept talking, we unpacked a beautiful truth that helped bring us out of comparison and into inspiration: God created us to be unique image bearers of Him. Each of us has unique talents and qualities that were put together by our Creator. Why would we not trust Him to make the best version of us? Macy has a gentle and quiet spirit. She is selfless beyond compare, her heart is fully devoted towards the Lord, and she loves people effortlessly through her words and actions.
Just because I struggle in these areas does not mean that I bash myself for not being like Macy. I should look at Macy as an example of a godly woman and be inspired by her walk. Instead of being jealous and letting comparison take over my heart, I will go to her and celebrate the qualities of Jesus I see in her while also asking for advice on how to grow in these areas. If you see someone who exhibits a quality of God well, go ask them how they got there. The Lord has clearly taught them how to live out that quality well, so they are a great person to go to!
The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). The Lord has gifted each of us with certain fruits that come more naturally than others. We can all look at that list of characteristics and see the ones we naturally flourish in and the ones we lack. When looking at the people around you, don’t compare your fruits, but seek out those who showcase the fruits you lack. Ask for advice and wisdom instead of harboring bitterness. How wonderful the body of Christ is! We each bring a certain part of the body to the table (1 Corinthians 12:12-31). We are called to help each other (Acts 2:42-47).
Always go to God to find identity and contentment. Without these key foundations, jealousy and comparison will arise. It is important that God is our sole definer. Our hearts are unique to us and checking our hearts for these thorns is crucial (Galatians 6:4). Welcome God into these spaces in your heart and meditate on His truth written in His Word. Learn to celebrate others for who God made them to be! Turn your comparison into inspiration and celebration! Ask God to let you see people through His eyes! We are each uniquely made for God’s purpose, let’s partner with each other and call out the God gold we see in each others’ hearts!
